(Q24N) This just in from CNN. Today’s headlines are so packed with fodder for stand-up comedians it is hard to pick a starting point. Literally, you could tack the New York Times to a wall and select your news by throwing a dart from roughly eight feet away and not be disappointed.

I expect that at any moment the late George Carlin will return from the grave just to take advantage of the juicy material waiting to be exploited.

First, let’s start with some facts.

China is the largest trading partner of the U.S., the European Union, Canada and Mexico follow to complete the top 4 spots. Russia is ranked at #24. Evidently, Beluga caviar and Stolichnaya Elit vodka are not big sellers at the Wal-Mart in Topeka, Kansas. Still, there are other Russian commodities for which some Americans have an acquired taste.

Not to be outdone by the Chinese, Mr. Putin recently made a comment referencing his new Tzar of Tourism AKA PEOTUS in an international press conference.

“Did Trump really come and meet with Moscow prostitutes? Firstly he is an adult, and secondly he is a person who for many years has organized a beauty pageant, socialized with the most beautiful women in the world. It is hard to believe that he ran to a hotel to meet with our girls of a low social class, although they are the best in the world,” Putin said.

(CNN)Want to strut your stuff in the Chinese Year of the Rooster?

If you’re in Hong Kong — or Vietnam, Korea or anywhere else in the world with a Chinese diaspora — it’s time to don that tacky red jacket, gamble until you lose and eat till you burst.

Yes, it’s the Lunar New Year; a time when the wheel of destiny decides whether you’ll be cock of the walk or just a feather duster in 2017.

Guest post by DC from Colibriexpress.com

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