Q COSTARICA — Chris and his wife are retired 77-year-old Brits. They are permanent residents in a rural area above Grecia, Costa Rica. A few weeks before the events described here, a European widow of similar age that they know had been left for dead in a pool of blood in another part of the area.
She was hospitalized for two weeks. Her smashed legs and joints may never heal.
Chris has written a number of published thrillers. He occasionally writes on international Economics for QCostarica. Read his articles here.
This is his story.
The Shock
It is 5.30 in the evening, just after dark.
I am at the desktop. My wife is putting a CD on the player for our pet, just outside the office. Simone loves opera.’
‘Chris! I heard a loud bang.’
‘I don’t hear anything.’
My wife screams.
I turn to see two guys in black have thrown her on the floor.
Two more grab me and push me to the tiles. All in black, they wear face masks and brandish automatic pistols. They shout,’
‘Kill! Kill!’.
All the rest of the dialogue is in Spanish, bad Spanish on my side.
My wife is still shrieking, thinking of our European friend. One puts a foot on her face to try and shut her up. They are binding my wrists and feet with plastic zip ties. Scared for my wife, I struggle to get up. A pistol is pressed to the side of my head.
‘Don’t hurt my wife, I’ll give you everything you want.’
‘Money! Money!
Again, I try to rise to show them a hiding place.
They push me back down hard, waving their pistols.
‘Stay on the floor!’
They are clearly pumping adrenaline, but their eyes don’t look drugged.
Maybe we can get out of this alive.
They tossed aside the box that the cash was in.
‘Not enough. More money!
Where’s the safe’
I show them as they drag me around. The ties cut into my hands and feet.
‘Keys! Keys! Kill! Kill!’
I am disoriented. They have thrown keys all over the place.
They take some convincing that I do not know where the safe key is
‘The safe isn’t strong. Lever it open.’
They break it open, loading stuff into a backpack!
I tell them I have a pacemaker and chest pain, playing for sympathy, trying desperately to look like someone’s grandad. They soften.
Maybe they saw the huge number of meds in our bedroom, or maybe the family pictures.
Two throw me on the bed and put a pillow under me.
‘Please. Water.’ I croak. I played in a youth theatre when young.
They fetch me some. My beloved is tied to a chair. I beg them to bring her a drink. They do, replacing the duct tape over her mouth.
The bonds cut into our skin. When they are not looking, to comfort her, I wink and give her a thumbs up, as far as I can with the ties.
We are going to get out of this.
They want to go. Ivy is freed of the gag to explain the car and gate controls.
They tell us to stay put for an hour, claiming that they will be watching the house. Then they are gone.
As soon as I hear no noise, I struggle a hand into a bedside drawer. Awkwardly, I open a small Swiss Army Knife, cut myself free, and do the same for my wife, who squeals in pain as I tug at the ties.
I get out of the gate wearing the same flowing Japanese robe I wore during the assault. I walk up to the next house about 80 meters up the road. Banging and rattling the big gates.
I shout for help. Luckily, they let the weird guy in.
The cops are called. Details of the missing car are shared.
The police arrive within a few minutes. Judicial plainclothes detectives follow later and again the next day with a forensic kit.
The car is discovered about 1.5km away in a muddy field. In it are my cell phone, the car keys, and two laptops.
Our good friend, Alan Marks, is fluent in Spanish. He helps us ensure the cops get clear information from us. He drives us into Grecia to start sorting out bureaucracy. A day later, he retrieves the car when it is found. He made a repair. It was a minor but complex problem.
We are overwhelmed with sympathy texts and calls, offering help and money from all our Tico and other friends.
Aftermath
We are amazed and delighted that the ladrones did not smash up the house or the items we gathered on our world travels. If you have to be robbed, try and book these guys.
The next day, we start to suffer from bruises and aches.
If you fall off a horse, you get back in the saddle. We resume our separate exercise regimes, occasionally gritting our teeth.
A TV crew arrived outside while the police were with us. They filmed the drama through the gate.
The incident received a wholly undeserved 20 minutes on the local lunchtime news. They repeated the same pictures and lines many times. In the evening, there was an edited repeat. In England, they say, ‘He was famous in his own lunchtime’. We are celebrities in our barrio for a few days.
The broadcast described us in Spanish as ‘Ancianos Británicos’. In the UK, the Ancient Britons were half-naked barbarians, painted in blue woad. They failed to stop the Romans from defeating and ‘civilizing’ them.
The newscast points out that there are many old single people in houses on the street. The locals are furious that these vulnerable people will become targets from now on.
Advice for those who might suffer from attacks.
Even if you were once a Navy SEAL, if there are many men with guns, be very careful before you resist, especially if loved ones are in the house.
Evaluate the invaders. Are they on drugs? Is one more empathetic? Try and appear helpful and unresisting.
Give them what they want. It is only stuff. Your life is more important.
Maybe keep some crutches in the corner to emphasize weakness.
If you are not already committed to Costa Rica, as we are, consider the many risks more before you move. Never bring jewelry. You’ll never wear it anyway.
Advice for Ladrones
Handle old people with care; they are fragile and confused. Think about how you would like others to treat your own family members.
If you are caught, it might help with your sentence.
Don’t resent foreigners. They are not responsible for Costa Rican problems. Many of us provide work and support whenever we can.
Some of us have had tough lives. Not all have more money than they need.
The neighbors who let me through their gate and offered help are an example. They have organized many projects and sports activities for the local community. They are well-liked by Ticos and expats alike.
Advice for the Government
Well-led cops and the OIJ can do a great job, as in this case. Support them!
The gap between the rich and poor in Costa Rica is dramatic, embedded, and getting worse.
Policies to reduce unemployment, to improve education, and healthcare are costly but are vital. The dire state of the nation’s finances will not allow this to be a quick fix. Some of the money might come from rooting out corruption at the top.
No one likes effective tax collection, but if it is fair and universal, it can become part of the culture. It will be slow progress. You cannot solve long-term and ingrained problems quickly.
PURA VIDA could become reality, but it would take a long time and better politicians.