Q COSTA RICA (by Sergio Davila Chaves) — In Costa Rica, we’re so efficient that we’ve inaugurated a high-security prison for organized crime—before finishing the kitchen.
That’s right! We have the Centro de Alta Contención y Crimen Organizado (CACCO)—High-Security Prison for Organized Crime, but nowhere to cook. The food has to be brought in from La Reforma.
A prison with external catering!
Talk about “penitentiary innovation.”
I can just imagine the planning meeting:
- Do we have the blueprints? —Yes.
- Do we have the cells? —Yes.
- Do we have the security measures? —Yes.
- Do we have the kitchen? —…
- Well, then? —Oops—that one slipped our minds!
But don’t worry! They’ve already found a solution: contracting the construction of the kitchen for approximately ¢5.118 billion colones.
FIVE BILLION, ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN MILLION!
I don’t know if they’ll be cooking with gold pots, bringing in chefs from France, or installing an industrial kitchen capable of feeding all of Central America—but for that price, you’d at least expect every inmate to have a private chef and an à la carte menu.
And it doesn’t end there.
Questions have also been raised about staff facilities, equipment, and other necessities that, apparently, were never addressed.
Some level of planning, right?
It’s like buying a car, paying millions, getting the keys, and then discovering there’s no engine—but no worries, because they’re already working on a contract to buy one separately!
Actually, the CACCO wasn’t inaugurated incomplete; it was inaugurated in installments: First the prison. Then the kitchen. Later on, we’ll see if the ladles, pots, and plates show up.
And for the next inauguration, I have a suggestion: before cutting the ribbon, someone should probably check if the project is actually finished. We wouldn’t want to end up inaugurating a hospital without operating rooms, a school without restrooms, or an airport without a runway.
Then again, come to think of it, maybe I shouldn’t give them any ideas.
In Costa Rica, anything is possible!
Sergio Davila Chaves is a musician and artist. Current affairs, opinion, and political humor from Costa Rica. Follow Sergio on his Facebook page here.